she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
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I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
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animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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