we're chasing vodka with high fives
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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