Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize