you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
