i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
