When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
