So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize