I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
