do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is wine microwaveable?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
