Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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