We're facebook friends in real life
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
