every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
