Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
