Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
