I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
