guys are not supposed to queef...right?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
