you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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