first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
