Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
