he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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