good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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