If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
