Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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