Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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