Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
