So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
