Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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