How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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