I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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