U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
