Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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