I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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