Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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