lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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