dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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