"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
