Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
