yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
