We're facebook friends in real life
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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