then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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