i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
