My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
