Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
