I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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