your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
