her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
