They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
