I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
