apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I will be naked everywhere
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
