i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
