i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
