We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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