Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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