He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize