She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize