It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
