My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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